Why You're Losing Instructions

Jan 21
Let me say something that might sting a little:

if you're losing instructions, it's not because of your fee. It's not because another agent valued the property substantially higher. And it's not because you haven't got enough "credibility indicators" plastered across your marketing materials (you know the ones: Award-winning, local property expert."

It's because you didn't connect. 

I know. The trainers told you it was all about data. Lead with your market knowledge. Reel off comparable sales. Present your credentials. Demonstrate competence first, build trust later. That's the pitch, right?

Here's the uncomfortable truth: that approach is actually harming your chances of gaining the instruction. 

Because you lead with competence - with data, statistics and your impressive track record - you're speaking to the wrong part of the brain. You're trying to convince someone to make one of the most emotional decisions of their life using the language of logic. And logic doesn't capture the heart - connection does.

Think about the last instruction you lost. The homeowner probably told you it came down to price, or that another agent had a better marketing plan. But that's not really what happened.  What happened is simpler and more profound:

They didn't feel it with you. They didn't sense that you understood them. You remained a competent stranger, not a trusted guide. 

 The industry training has misled you about how humans actually make decisions.

You've been taught to believe that people choose rationally - weighing features, comparing data, selecting the 'best' option. But neuroscience tells us something very different: people choose emotionally, then later justify their choice logically. 

This is important - your potential client isn't qualified to judge your expertise. So inviting them to do so is a mistake. 

Before someone can even begin to evaluate your competence, they need to feel something. Bear in mind that your competitors are making easy promises and telling only half the story. It becomes confusing for the homeowner and when that happens, they often make poor choices.

This is where emotional sequencing becomes essential. 

Before someone can even begin to evaluate your competence, they need to feel something. They need to feel seen. Understood. They need to feel that their specific situation matters to you - not as another commission, but as a genuine concern. 

Without going to deep, we are all energy. Our thoughts, own emotions and words all have their specific energy frequency. We intuitively pick up on this energy and either resonate with what we feel - or not!
It's not simply a matter of building rapport - you have to actually care. 

When you skip the emotional connection and jump straight to facts & figures, you're essentially asking someone to trust you before they even like you.

The Other Agent Who Won The Instruction?

They probably weren't better than you. They might have been less experienced, even less professional by objective standards. But if they made the homeowner feel something, the right emotions, in the right sequence, then that's the reason they were instructed. And you can tell yourself, all day long, that it was because of the fee or the valuation. The truth is that your energy wasn't a best-fit. 

It may well be that, ultimately, it doesn't work out with the other agent and you get a second shot - but that's not an efficient use of your time. 
You have better ways to spend your resources than picking up others 'breadcrumbs.'

Identity. Recognition. Understanding. Safety. That's what's missing.

Your potential clients aren't looking for the most qualified agent; they're looking for the agent who resonates. That's an emotional assessment, not a rational one. No amount of hustle can compensate when that feeling isn't there.

The good news? This is completely learnable. Become immersed in the comprehensive 52-week Brand Within membership and it will transform you - and your conversion kpi's.

Thanks for reading.

Chris.




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